Lol. I let my heart get played again. Why do I never learn..
Ohhh the 4 years of cost intensive, energy intensive, mind draining medical school. My whole life has been getting to one checkpoint then looking at the other. In elementary school, you just live your dainty and young life until you get to middle school. In middle school, you start learning about cliques and drama but that’s a few short years away until high school. In high school you try to find somewhere to belong and try to get good grades to get into the good college. In college you keep learning and learning and making friends and being lazy and finding out more about yourself. Then you go to grad school, med school, dental school, opt school, work, etc… I study to get good grades so that I can get into med school. I study but just not well enough…
I study and my GPA isn’t that bad but it’s not the best along the levels of high school. That doesn’t bother me. I study but I don’t get the grades I want and I know I can do better, I just don’t feel the pressure, the motivation, the consequences until it’s too late… If I study but not to my full potential, when do I start studying with my full potential. Is it going to be soon? Is it going to be before med school? Is it going to be during med school? When will I step up to be the person I want to be…
It’s scary to think that I probably won’t get into med school.. It’s scarier to think I’ll be living the same life with the same half-ass passion that I have now…
And then toss that jar of distress into a black hole.
But I run instead. Works pretty well.
Today I was so annoyed by people who avoid the problem/situation. If something is bothering you about me, just let me know. But then I have the same problem. I don’t want to bring it up in case it offends you or I was not seeing the whole picture.
Still don’t know what to do with this blog. It’s like my diary to share to the world. I feel like my life isn’t interesting enough for a blog. Or maybe it is and I just have to be descriptive of my everyday life. What if I say something embarrassing and the world judges me?
It’s easy to get inspired. It’s hard to get motivated.
I created this under “thatlaughingguy”. I want to be known as that guy whose laugh everyone remembers and is contagious. I get these odd pangs of loneliness and times when I perhaps think too much and feel like it’s not me. However, I’m happy much of the time these days so hopefully it’s okay :)
Hopefully I’ll be able to get a phone or a camera and post pictures that inspire me or I just found to be cool and I can write about them. I would like a means to express my thoughts as I don’t talk that much or share that much in person.
